He says he wants to talk. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait. Wait. Keep waiting... "Babe, what's your number?" Wait just a little while longer, it's coming. "You know, how many guys have you been with?" There it is!
You get this deer in headlights look about you. How do you answer his question without making yourself look like either a uptight prude or a slut? Are there rules to this game?
Kissing~ 0
Kissing w/ tongue~ .5
Kissing w/ same sex~ 1
Removal of outer garments~ .5
Undergarments~ 1
Sticking fingers into orifices~ 1.5 (yes, that hole only gets you 1.5 points)
Sucking him off~ 2
Going down on her~ 3
Him going down on you~ 2
Penis insertion~ 5
Anything other than a penis inserted~ 6.5
If it happened on vacation, you get a pass. It doesn't bear mentioning unless something other than a penis was inserted. If it happened with a nameless person on your local turf, subtract 8 points you dirty, dirty girl.
Protection matters. If liquor was involved, don't add or subtract points. Unless protection wasn't involved, in which case, you must subtract 10 points. If a baby resulted and then he jumped ship, please take 25 points. If he gave you a.... You get the point.
I still haven't decided if you want to be in the negative or positive at the end of this game or what the design of my cards will be so I haven't sent it off to Mattel yet.
I actually don't believe any of that. I don't think that it should matter. Presumably if you are having sex, you've taken steps to make sure that you are both infection/disease free. You both want to stay that way. As long as your parts are in good working order, your sexual history didn't involve any trauma, physical/emotional that your partner should be made aware of, it's none of his damn business. If you want to exchange awkward, "my first time was..." stories, by all means, do so. Whether your number is low or high, it is your business.
Tell him that it's more than Sister Mary Francis and less than Jenna Jameson. As long as he's not going to send you a link to a redtube video with a picture of your face covered in.... I think you're fine. And be sure to let him know that as long as his AKA isn't Randy Spears or Evan Stone, You don't care either.
If he looks at you like you're speaking German when you toss out these names, chances are you've landed yourself an uptight prude :D
When I'm walking around his hometown, I have no desire to know that the kindergarten teacher was his first, or that he had a threesome with the town drunk and the pastors daughter. I don't care if his number is 3 or 47. Likewise, my number should be of no consequence to him. The only thing that should matter is our sexual compatiblity, and future. I rarely think about my previous sexual partners. My fiance and I sometimes share horror stories but for the most part, I am just happy that we have each other in the now, and future.
Saying that the the number of people that a person has been with is rarely a contributing factor in their relationship is not my way of saying that sex is not a contributing factor in a relationship. It is! A relationship(with a s/o) implies a closeness. How much closer can you get as a couple than being intimate? To completely open yourself to giving or receiving your partner physically allows you to be open to completely giving of yourself in other aspects of the relationship. So when you close yourself off sexually, you aren't just damaging your togetherness in the bedroom. You are closing off and shutting down lines of communication, trust, laughter... all things that keep a relationship healthy and thriving.
Hmmm... it sounds like i'm saying have sex with your love, lots of sex!
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