Marriage is pretty much a combining of two lives. So with you, comes all of your crap. His or mine? whose fridge do we use? Do we keep the extra in the garage, store it or trash it? Which bed is better(different post!)? Do I really need to bring shoes that I haven't worn for 2.5 years? After all, I have to share a closet now! But what if I get rid of them and then find the perfect outfit that isn't so perfect anymore because I no longer have the shoes?!
More importantly, what about the friends that you've accumulated over the years? Mainly, friends whose sex prevents them from using the same public restroom as you. How does your man feel about the way that you feel about your man friends? Confusing? Imagine how I feel!
Most of my friends are of the male variety. You can write one of those bare all books about the status of their relationships. Some are married. Some have girlfriends. Some are married and have girlfriends. Some are gay. Some are gay and married. Some are looking. Some are not. Some will forever be bachelors. And finally, I'm not one to toot my own horn(toot, toot!), but some think i'm attractive and want to sleep with me. Honestly, some have slept with me. What they all have in common is that they are some of my very best friends.
These are the guys that never stood me up, that told me when a dress really did make my butt look big, told me when a guy was out of my league, that let me know that just because a guy wasn't perfect, that didn't mean I could slash his tires, pour bleach on his clothes, tell his mama, and facebook status how bad he was in bed. These are the guys who told me when he was cheating, who let me cry, who later talked trash about me for not knowing I was being played, and who took me out and showed me a good time so that I could build a bridge and get over.
I got so close to them by going out with them, by spending time with them, and by making an effort to get to know them. Each and every one of them respect the fact that I am happily engaged to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. They still consider me a friend though. They still want to hang out with me and shoot the shit like always.
When we go out, it is perfectly innocent. Whether it's the group of us or just two of us, we're just hanging out as friends.
So, what do you do when The Man in your life isn't comfortable with you spending time with your male friends when it's one on one? Do you ditch the guys or do you alter the relationships so that The Man in your life finds them acceptable? I know what you're thinking folks. "If he doesn't trust you, he has no business being with you." "Mmmm mmm, you don't have to change yourself for him." "Why do you need other men anyway when you have a fiance?"
They aren't male friends. They are just friends... who all happen to have a penis. I understand where he is coming from as well though. Because listen, the first time some woman calls my house and says she's just a friend and wants to know if my fiance is up for hanging out or going to a movie because her boyfriend just broke up with her and she's feeling bummed, you will see my face plastered all over yahoo news.
Ok, ok... I guess I proved his point. No more dates with the guys.
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