What's in your purse?

The intellectuals say that your purse tells a story. They say that they can look inside that bag and tell you countless facts about yourself. Sometimes, a purse is just what it is, a bag that you can toss things into. My purse(s) seem to collect quite a bit of junk. When I empty it out, I can't remember where half of the stuff came from and when I put it in there. I don't organize it each time I switch bags so every so often I have to declutter. Tonight was one of those nights. And you know what? It wasn't that bad!

•  Really cute wallet that I got from Claire's
• Coach wallet- I haven't put all of my stuff into the wallet from Claire's
• Check book
• The address stamp that came on one of S's magazines. I left the mag at the airport and didn't want anyone to have his address
• Foundation stick
• chapstick(s)
• lipgloss
• lipstain
• Eyeliner
• Banana clip
• Comb
• Feminine wipes
• $6.13 in change
• White pen holder
• Mirror
• Floss
• Mousse and gel stick
• Random flower container that I keep Tylenol in
• Condoms- mom always said be prepared. It's habit now. I'm not planning anything babe! :)
• Few sticks of gum
• Pouch with tampons/pantyliners
• Random papers with scribbles
• My recruiters card(from jan of last year!!!)
• That is NOT my dip!
•  my friends business card
• Hand sanitizer
• Black nail polish
• Gummy snacks for my daughter. She's with her dad right now but sometimes I randomly toss a snack into my purse for her
• Hair ties
• Receipts

Normally there is so much stuff in my bag. I was a bit surprised at how little I had in there. What do you keep in your purse?

Money talks... even when we don't

This is a biggie. In fact, this is where my fiance and I will clash. Because we were raised differently, we value the dollar differently. He doesn't believe in excessive spending. Just because something has a name branded across it doesn't mean that you should pay 40x the asking price of the same object sans brand name, is his outlook. Where he is from, with a really small town country mentality, they work really hard for every dollar that they earn, and they spend it with all of the hard work it took to earn, it in mind. He will never reward himself with a nice pair of ferragamo loafers for a job well done. He has probably never even heard of them. So when he hears that i've spent $500 on a new purse, he finds it really offensive.

When I was a child, my mother instilled in me that although I didn't have to have name brand clothing, shoes, purses, if I wanted it, and everything else was properly taken care of, I should get it. I am just as likely to buy lingerie from Target as I am to buy from La Perla, Aubade, Agent Provocateur... I'm of the mind that as long as the bills are being paid, money is being saved, properly invested, i'm tithing, i'm giving to charity, and nobody or nothing is being shorted, I should be able to indulge every now and again.

He is definitely living up to the man role as I see it. He gets up every morning and goes to work. He pays the bills. He does yard work. He does everything that I think men are responsible for doing. I appreciate that. I adore that. It's one of the things that I love about him, as I believe in traditional gender roles -which is something you'll hear more about later. I don't want my spending to be a source of tension between us. At the same time, if it isn't creating a financial hardship, I don't want to give it up either.

I do have a job which I will maintain for at least the next four years. Right now I can justify spending money that i've worked for. What will change when i've given up working so that I can stay home with our babies? We're discussing a his, hers, and ours banking system. I'm not certain what percentage will be going where but I think it's important to maintain some sense of autonomy within our relationship and I think that will be encouraged by a bit of individual financial freedom.

I really need to come up with some kind of middle ground that we can meet at and both be happy.

There is no law demanding seperation between family and friend?!

I love my little brother. As often as he unknowingly slights me, he makes me smile. I've watched him grow into his own as a man and I still feel the need to baby and protect him. So, no girl will ever be woman enough and no woman will ever be good enough for him in my eyes. I think that if I could flip a switch and turn him back into the 13 year old boy who wanted to hang out with me, valued my opinions, and trusted me with his secrets, I would. He makes me shake my head sometimes and wonder what girls possibly see in him, but ultimately, he's my baby brother and I want the best for him. That includes the best person to compliment his life.

I love my best friend. She's just an amazingly wonderful person to have in your life. She is always smiling and bringing good vibes. She has a really pure spirit. You can always count on her to see the best in a person or situation. Because she's such a good friend to me, I want the best for her. I'm really critical of any man that she has an interest in. "I need his name, government issued and friend decided." "I need his first elementary school, mom's maiden name, height, weight, favorite color." "Allergies too because the first time he says something disrespectful or hurts you're feelings, he's going to be looking around for an epi pen!" "While you're digging up all of this information, why don't you get his ex's information as well, because inquiring minds want to know."

So what do you do when these two forces collide? Is the woman I previously saw as my best friend somebody that I now need to protect my little brother from? I'm going to have to kick his ass if he treats her badly. Treat them both the same and as if they aren't dating somebody that I love very much.

The reality is, normal "ugh, he pisses me the eff off" conversations will have a totally different tone when the rat bastard she is talking about is my brother. I will jump to his defense and make excuses on his behalf. When he starts talking about the hot piece of ass he saw at the strip club and considered taking home, i'm going to be offended on my bestie's behalf.

And the sex conversations? Not going to happen. Where as normally, i'm totally up for hearing about how her new beau put her to sleep, I don't have any interest in hearing about my brothers sexual prowess. And I don't want him to call me as i'm taking a swig of her chai tea to tell me how his gf learned a really nifty tongue trick from that porn they rented.

Should family always come first? I was raised to believe that no matter what, right or wrong, you stick by your family. Inside I can be hurt, crushed, and mad enough to spew molten lava, but all anyone will see on the outside is a big sister who loves her baby brother and will go to any lengths to protect him. I'm really hoping that as they continue to talk and get to know each other, my love for my brother isn't tested. If he breaks her heart, i'm going to have to break his face, but he will still be my baby brother. If she breaks his... he's my baby brother.

Damn it to hell! Much like there is a wall of seperation between church and state, there should be a seperation between your family and your friends. Dip your toe in if you want to. Flirt, have fun, whatever. But for God's sake, don't take off your clothes and jump in it! If you are both drowning at the same time, who do I save?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Maybe the right thing to do is to continue loving them both and make a refusal to play pro bono therapist to either of them when it comes to their dating lives.