Money talks... even when we don't

This is a biggie. In fact, this is where my fiance and I will clash. Because we were raised differently, we value the dollar differently. He doesn't believe in excessive spending. Just because something has a name branded across it doesn't mean that you should pay 40x the asking price of the same object sans brand name, is his outlook. Where he is from, with a really small town country mentality, they work really hard for every dollar that they earn, and they spend it with all of the hard work it took to earn, it in mind. He will never reward himself with a nice pair of ferragamo loafers for a job well done. He has probably never even heard of them. So when he hears that i've spent $500 on a new purse, he finds it really offensive.

When I was a child, my mother instilled in me that although I didn't have to have name brand clothing, shoes, purses, if I wanted it, and everything else was properly taken care of, I should get it. I am just as likely to buy lingerie from Target as I am to buy from La Perla, Aubade, Agent Provocateur... I'm of the mind that as long as the bills are being paid, money is being saved, properly invested, i'm tithing, i'm giving to charity, and nobody or nothing is being shorted, I should be able to indulge every now and again.

He is definitely living up to the man role as I see it. He gets up every morning and goes to work. He pays the bills. He does yard work. He does everything that I think men are responsible for doing. I appreciate that. I adore that. It's one of the things that I love about him, as I believe in traditional gender roles -which is something you'll hear more about later. I don't want my spending to be a source of tension between us. At the same time, if it isn't creating a financial hardship, I don't want to give it up either.

I do have a job which I will maintain for at least the next four years. Right now I can justify spending money that i've worked for. What will change when i've given up working so that I can stay home with our babies? We're discussing a his, hers, and ours banking system. I'm not certain what percentage will be going where but I think it's important to maintain some sense of autonomy within our relationship and I think that will be encouraged by a bit of individual financial freedom.

I really need to come up with some kind of middle ground that we can meet at and both be happy.