I love my little brother. As often as he unknowingly slights me, he makes me smile. I've watched him grow into his own as a man and I still feel the need to baby and protect him. So, no girl will ever be woman enough and no woman will ever be good enough for him in my eyes. I think that if I could flip a switch and turn him back into the 13 year old boy who wanted to hang out with me, valued my opinions, and trusted me with his secrets, I would. He makes me shake my head sometimes and wonder what girls possibly see in him, but ultimately, he's my baby brother and I want the best for him. That includes the best person to compliment his life.
I love my best friend. She's just an amazingly wonderful person to have in your life. She is always smiling and bringing good vibes. She has a really pure spirit. You can always count on her to see the best in a person or situation. Because she's such a good friend to me, I want the best for her. I'm really critical of any man that she has an interest in. "I need his name, government issued and friend decided." "I need his first elementary school, mom's maiden name, height, weight, favorite color." "Allergies too because the first time he says something disrespectful or hurts you're feelings, he's going to be looking around for an epi pen!" "While you're digging up all of this information, why don't you get his ex's information as well, because inquiring minds want to know."
So what do you do when these two forces collide? Is the woman I previously saw as my best friend somebody that I now need to protect my little brother from? I'm going to have to kick his ass if he treats her badly. Treat them both the same and as if they aren't dating somebody that I love very much.
The reality is, normal "ugh, he pisses me the eff off" conversations will have a totally different tone when the rat bastard she is talking about is my brother. I will jump to his defense and make excuses on his behalf. When he starts talking about the hot piece of ass he saw at the strip club and considered taking home, i'm going to be offended on my bestie's behalf.
And the sex conversations? Not going to happen. Where as normally, i'm totally up for hearing about how her new beau put her to sleep, I don't have any interest in hearing about my brothers sexual prowess. And I don't want him to call me as i'm taking a swig of her chai tea to tell me how his gf learned a really nifty tongue trick from that porn they rented.
Should family always come first? I was raised to believe that no matter what, right or wrong, you stick by your family. Inside I can be hurt, crushed, and mad enough to spew molten lava, but all anyone will see on the outside is a big sister who loves her baby brother and will go to any lengths to protect him. I'm really hoping that as they continue to talk and get to know each other, my love for my brother isn't tested. If he breaks her heart, i'm going to have to break his face, but he will still be my baby brother. If she breaks his... he's my baby brother.
Damn it to hell! Much like there is a wall of seperation between church and state, there should be a seperation between your family and your friends. Dip your toe in if you want to. Flirt, have fun, whatever. But for God's sake, don't take off your clothes and jump in it! If you are both drowning at the same time, who do I save?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Maybe the right thing to do is to continue loving them both and make a refusal to play pro bono therapist to either of them when it comes to their dating lives.
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